let’s talk the birds and the bees
What is sex?
Sex is procreative and unitive. It is used to create human life and to bond two people together. This is what it is. The purpose of sex is not for anything else, except for these two attributes. Pleasure can be, and often is, a huge part of sex. This is such a gift! What a wonder that an act that is so crucial to the viability of the human race is also pleasurable. However, this is not the main purpose. For a person to engage in sex solely for pleasure would be violating the very nature of what it is intended for. For example, the purpose of food is for fueling our body’s. If we derive pleasure from eating food, that’s a perk. However, if we were to disrupt the part of this process, it would be volatile. Restricting ourselves from eating or purging after eating is an example of a misuse of food. In this situation, the food is just being eaten for pleasure. This violates the nature of food and the purpose it has for us. This is what happens when the nature of something is violated to achieve a certain end of our own. To just use sex for pleasure, or just for bonding, or just for procreation is a violation of what it is intended for. It is only in its fullness when it is used for it’s intended purposes.
Why is getting engaged an important step in a relationship?
One of the very fundamentals of friendship is reciprocity. To grow and move forward in a friendship requires reciprocity. A mutual affection, love, and care for each other. That’s what being in a relationship is all about. At the core, it’s a friendship with a person for life. There’s a level of a guaranteed-ness one hopes to attain with the person they have invested so much of their time into. It’s usually not enough for a person to say words of commitment. An action made - a real tangible sign is a freeing step in a relationship for the two to show each other that they are both in it for the long haul. The reciprocity of commitment and affection. This is why a proposal is so important. This is a first, tangible step of someone being vulnerable and showing the other their love for them. The other person, if they choose to accept, shows their reciprocity in the vulnerability. This gives the two of them a sense of security in stability in their efforts toward a future together.
Why is it important to celebrate a marriage?
It’s important to celebrate a marriage because the event serves as an important reminder of the emotional, physical, and spiritual promise that was made to one another. The memory of the event is helpful in times of trials, doubts, and uncertainties. When the time comes that quitting seems easier, the memory of the event serves to remind the couple of the love they have for each other which gives the couple the strength to persevere and choose to say “yes” to each other again. The outward sign of saying yes to another in front of all your family and friends also helps in the moments of doubts. It’s a helpful reminder to remember all those who love and support you in this marriage, as well as the vow you made.
With love, your writer,
Isabel