The 5 Best Girlfriend Qualities
Because we know how tiresome these articles can be, we decided to give you what we often find lacking in advice blogs - the why. We believe that once a person knows the “why,” he/she can actually start to attain the qualities that we think are the best. Without further ado, read the 5 best girlfriend qualities.
Doesn’t Compromise on Her Values and Beliefs
Why? A woman who (1) knows and (2) doesn’t compromise on her values and beliefs is fearsome to behold - but in the best way. Can you think of a woman in your life who you admire? It’s likely she holds specific values and beliefs a stays strong and true to those. Holding values and beliefs gives purpose and meaning to your life. It makes you more certain of who you are and where you’re going. Core values and beliefs often shape your personality and show you where and what you will do with your life. An example of a core value is courage. If you hold courage as a value, this will shape how you are with others, how you interact the world around you, and how you pursue your dreams and goals. Think about it: if you think courage is one of the most important attributes a person can possess, then your approach toward life will be a courageous one. You’ll have the courage to go to new social events to meet new friends, have the courage to stand up for a close friend, have the courage to volunteer for a leadership opportunity in class, or the courage to leave a job that wants you to do something you don’t believe in.
The beautiful thing about values is that each person holds certain values to be the most important. One person may think courage is the most important value, whereas another person might think it’s a good and important value, but not the one they hold the most. Are you curious about which values you strongly hold? Here are some steps to guide you:
Find a quiet space and get comfortable with a snack and drink.
Close your eyes and think back to your past week. What events stand out to? How did you respond and how did you feel?
You can do this with the past month, the past 6 months, and even the past year.
What do all of these events have in common? The events that stand out to you say something, how you responded says something, and how you felt says something.
Case: Yesterday at lunch, my friend offered to share hers because I forgot my lunch at home. I felt frustrated that my mom didn’t set out my lunch that morning like she usually does. I also felt so grateful for my friend who shared her lunch even though she was also hungry. This shows me that I really value consideration. I felt like my mom wasn’t considering me and my day by not putting out my lunch. My friend was considering me and how not having a lunch would mean I would be hungry for the rest of the day, so she offered hers.
Important note: this is an exercise in understanding our values. Everyone will fail you constantly, and just because an event in your life causes a negative emotion doesn’t mean that person does not obtain that value.
2. Has Her Priorities Straight
It’s important to know your priorities. Knowing your priorities shapes what you will do with your time, who you will spend your time with, and how you make decisions. An easy way to figure out what you prioritize is to look at how you’ve spent your time the past week. What events, people, experiences have you made time for? Once you have a general idea of what you have prioritized, you then can assess and make a judgement on whether or not what you have been prioritizing aligns with your values and goals in life.
A girl who knows her priorities will not settle for mediocracy and complacency for herself or the other person in the relationship. She’s able to recognize what’s good and important for her long term growth and success.
Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.
Joseph Whelan
3. Always Aiming to be the Best Version of Herself
Having a desire to constantly grow and become the best version of yourself is one of the best qualities a person can posses. This causes an openness and an intentionality toward life that inherently cultivates a healthy relationship.
4. Resists Pressures of Comparison
Nothing kills joy like comparison. Comparison leads to an unsatisfaction that is completely out of your control. Something that I have found helpful when I catch myself comparing, is asking myself a few questions. For example, if I notice myself comparing my relationship to another person’s, I might go through these series of questions:
What do I think their relationship possesses that mine doesn't?
Could this attribute that they have and my relationship doesn’t have be revealing something deeper about my current relationship?
If yes, then I will take note. Your relationship will never be perfect; so give the other person and your relationship grace. But, if you start to realize there are attributes that other relationships possess and you long for, that is not something to completely dismiss.
If no, then trust that your relationship is unique and different from every other relationship, and that’s a beautiful thing.
Media content has become a huge contributor in the urge to compare. We are constantly faced with seemingly perfect people and relationships. We see the best of the best, all in the name of “I wish,” or “I want that,” or “why isn’t my life like that.” Not only that, but if we go through a breakup, we are faced with what our ex is ‘liking’ on social media. This could cause us to then compare ourselves to the new girls he’s giving attention to - even if that attention is just on social media. If you find that social media feeds into this comparison, or cultivates negative emotions of anxiety, anger, jealousy, then considering ridding social media from your life entirely. In The Social Dilemma, it cited that:
"There has been a gigantic increase in depression and anxiety for American teenagers which began right around between 2011 and 2013." Stats show an alarming spike in the number of kids in the US being admitted to hospital after cutting themselves or otherwise self-harming. For girls aged 15 to 19, there has been a 62 per cent increase since 2009. Among pre-teens aged ten to 14, the increase is 189 per cent. "That's nearly triple," Prof Haidt said. "Even more horrifying, we're seeing the same pattern with suicide. "And that pattern points to social media." Deaths by suicide in the US are up 70 per cent in older teenage girls compared with the first decade of the century. In pre-teen girls, suicide has risen by 151 per cent.
Read the article here.
Drake explains this phenomenon of comparison through social media in his song, Summer Games:
I follow one of your friends, you unfollow me
Then you block them so they can't see you likin' someone just like me
Social media feeds into these games that are not helpful for us growing and becoming the best versions of ourselves.
5. Knows Her Inherent Worth
“We are not the sum of weaknesses and failures; we are the sum of the Father’s love for us and our real capacity to become the image of his Son.”
Pope John Paul II
To truly know your inherent worth is crucial in understanding your identity. How you view yourself impacts how you are with the other person you are in a relationship with. In the quote above, he points out our real capacity. This means that we are capable of continuously becoming the best version of ourselves. Growing and changing isn’t just something that has become a fad. Instead, it’s crucial to our genuine happiness and well-being. It takes knowing our worth to be able to truly pursue what’s true, good, and beautiful.
“A kind of light spread out from her. And everything changed color. And the world opened out. And a day was good to awaken to. And there were no limits to anything. And the people of the world were good and handsome. And I was not afraid any more.”
― John Steinbeck, East of Eden
With love, your writer,
Isabel